Lincoln started it.

The soldier might have been shot to death by the enemy.

He might have died when a bridge he was building trapped him underwater.

Or, the soldier might killed himself.

It didn’t matter.  The cause of death didn’t matter.  Under Lincoln’s signature, the soldier’s family got a letter of condolence.  It expressed the president’s sorrow at the family’s loss.  And gratitude for the person’s service.

Presidents after Lincoln followed his practice.  Until President Clinton.  Somehow, the people at the Pentagon then decided the families whose service member committed suicide didn’t hear from the Commander-In-Chief or any expression of sorrow or thanks.

Just recently, one family spoke up.  Their son fighting in Iraq took his own life.  He’d been deployed several times and had seen lots of action.  In his last call home, he tried to explain how distressed he had been.  But his dad, not fully comprehending the son was on the edge, admonished the boy to “be a man.”   Hours after that phone call the son shot himself to death in the latrine.

The front-page story appeared in the Thanksgiving Day edition of The New York Times.

I suppose publication of treating a service suicide as not a death to be honored will prompt the Pentagon to change policy.  From now on, I expect to see  a letter of presidential condolence will be sent to families whose service member killed him or herself.

It’s yet another reason we need news reporters, to see that outrages such as this get publicly aired and ended.  Yet the revelation comes at an awkward time for the  the military.  Recently, it’s been trying to de-stigmatize mental illness.

Treating suicide as an exception by the military reflects public attitudes.  A former student of my daughter’s recently killed himself.   Another teacher protested, “How selfish!”

It’s cruel to judge.  Moreover, it’s likely to be wrong about the person’s reasons for taking his or her own life.    For those nearly 140  soldiers who committed suicide last year, and almost that many in 2009, civilians can only guess at the horrors these young people have seen in battle.

What I’m reasonably sure of is that the person has become terribly distressed and sees no other way out of the psychic pain.  To be sure, suicide is a tragedy.   But it is not a dishonor.   And if it’s a soldier,  a presidential letter of condolence to the family seems totally in order.

I still get depressed.

Not every day.  Not every week.  Not even every month.

In fact, I haven’t visited a therapist in ages.  I don’t take anti-depressants.

But I’ve found the secret to beating depression.   Cheaper than pills.  Lots cheaper than a trip to the therapist.

I jog.  About four days a week, starting out about 7 a.m. I head for our nearby part and cover a little more than four miles.  When I run out of breath, I walk.  And you know what?  When I get back home, any worry, any inkling of depression has melted away.

I was reminded of how I handle depression when I saw the recent New York Times article titled, “Getting mental health care when money is tight.”

Given the current economic climate,  the piece was particularly addressed to persons who had lost their job or feared losing their job.

But the tips could very well help anybody struggling with occasional depression or anxiety.  Even if you’re depression is major, simple things like exercising or finding a support group can help get you moving toward professional help.

Most members of the clergy have been trained to listen to troubled souls.  Pastors and rabbis should spot major problems and connect you with the right professional.

You can talk with your family doctor.  The caveat here is that many medical doctors aren’t very good at diagnosing a mental illness.  Nevertheless, a conversation might well open the door.

If cost truly is an issue, you should know that most people who don’t get help for a mental health problem avoid it because of what they expect to be the cost.  Until recently, health insurance hasn’t been very good about covering such problems.

I should also mention that most communities have agencies, such as Mental Health America and a community mental health center, that can direct you to help – often at minimal cost or even no cost.

Another way to make the connection is by calling the national suicide prevention hotline.  Most of their calls aren’t from persons threatening suicide.  And the persons answering the calls are trained to direct you to somebody who can help.

That number is 1-800-273-TALK.

Through the years, jogging has spared me much heartache.   Meantime, on those many outings, I’ve solved problems, planned books and kept myself in excellent health for a person in his 70s.

You might say I’m a believer.

Maybe it’s because we nearly lost my son at age 16 to suicide.  How lucky we were.

Stories about the high rate of suicide among soldiers hit home.; By the end of  2008, it was 140 active duty men and women.  By mid-November this year, it’s 140, though the Pentagon reports the rate has slowed. Then this week our granddaughter got word that a high school classmate, an honors student, and a former Spanish student of my daughter, killed himself at college.

No doubt, we’ll be talking about the suicide rate in the military at Friday’s meeting of our county’s Suicide Prevention Council. I well remember encouraging our coroner to organize just such a group.  I wrote editorials praising him when he followed through. But it was only the sort of response that Surgeon General David Satcher had called for that year.  Then, retired from the paper, I joined the council, now composed of physicians, a sheriff’s deputy, counselors and advocates.  Our most public event featured Mike Wallace of “60 Minutes” telling his story of depression and thoughts of suicide to an audience of 700 people at Indiana Purdue University.

But for all the meetings and the efforts to train people on suicide prevention, our suicide rate hasn’t changed much.  On any given year, we lose about 30 people, of various ages, to suicide.  That works out to the national average of 10 per 100,000.   That’s more than some countries, fewer than others.

We naturally assume that the recent horrors of combat explains the current high rate within the army.  But the rate is higher among long-time veterans than the civilian population.  

A few years ago, the air force was able to cut that service’s suiciderate, nearly in half.  The psychiatrist who designed the program told me that the main feature was to train officers who managed the airmen and women.  The officers were educated to know when those serving under them were having emotional problems, depression, anxiety and so forth.

By extension, it’s always seemed that training managers and teachersin civilian life along the same lines help avert tragedy.  The watchword is to identify the problems, then see that the person suffering getsprofessional help.

The side benefit is that the more people who are trained in suicide prevention, the better we can combat the stigma. Every community should tackle suicide as a major public health issue, just as we’ve attempted to do in Fort Wayne.   I’ve interviewed a number of family members whose loved ones have committed suicide.  They never comprehend it.  They never really get over it.  I want to say that a suicide always has more than one victim.